Consciously Cozy

a documentation of stuff that matters (and not)

Category: thought

bulan kesembilan tahun 2015

I learned that people come and they can, inevitably, go.

People come and go.

If they want to be near you, they will stay with you.

If they don’t think you are friend worthy, they would stay the hell out of you.

Bear in mind that they themselves choose to go , so there is nothing you can do, Lolly.

There is really nothing you can do.

Another thing I learned in life is that, maybe I shouldn’t really expect too high of my friends. They are human they do and say(!) lots of stupid things and so do you and sure they can be hurtful and you aren’t really sure how much your friends mean them;

but you start inevitably doubting them.

you start questioning how much of true friends they can be;

from “do you truly care” to “are you sure you are really my best friend, bc i’m not feeling it at this moment”, you realized you are disappointed. You can’t really help it.

You think they see you as someone attractive, someone lovable, someone smart, someone joyful to be with, someone worthy (bc you know you are, for gods sake you’ve known yourself much longer before they first learned your name) and when they speak what they truly think of you (which is truly different from this image of yourself you have in mind) , you can’t help anything but pure disappointment.

All self-belief you stick to your head about yourself starts to fall apart.

You begin to doubt yourself too.

Friends should make us be better right? Friends should bring out the best in each other. I thought friends are supposed to make us feel better about ourselves, am i wrong? When things start to fall apart, you know you can always have your besties near you.  They will be there. You know that if you start to mentally judge yourself in mind, at least you are this sure they will not do that. They believe in you, bc they know your real value and they know you are good. In a nutshell, they love you and you can very much feel their love. as simple as that.

If friends don’t make you feel such thing, let alone make you cry for half an hour for shits they (probably) say unintentionally, what should you really call them, then?

can anyone enlighten me here, bc i’m really not experienced in this kind of thing. I trust my closest ones truly. When I love, I trust. All my life i have been doing that and everything been quite okay.

It has been okay until I reached age 20, I guess.

maybe i shouldn’t have been this naive. (ya elah, kemana aja lu, Lol?)

ha ha ha ha

to summarize, what is one important life lesson here, Lolly?

trust no one but yourself.

thanks, life. very much appreciated.

Advertisements

my favorite time of the day

The best part of the day is between 4 to 6 pm. Everything between this peaceful period of time always feels so right, for me.

Let me start from tidur sore. If you think tidur siang is priceless, try taking a nap at 4 pm and thank me later. “Bahagia itu Sederhana” memang benar adanya. Sesederhana tidur sore di atas kasur favorit kamu sambil dibelai angin sore yang masuk lewat jendela kamar. Sambil dengerin playlist yang tepat,  perlahan tapi pasti, kamar lo mulai menyerap jingganya sore dan satu-satunya yang lo rasakan cuman, bersyukur. sama siapapun atau apapun itu yang lo percayai telah membentuk segala sesuatu di semesta alam sehingga pada akhirnya lo berkesempatan merasakan nikmat tuhan yang nyata dan tak terdusta dalam rupa tidur sore tersebut. Hiperbola abis ya? Huahahaha

camera can’t really capture the beauty of this afternoon, i’m sorry

Selain tidur sore, jam 5 adalah waktu yang tepat untuk jalan kaki.

  1. Matahari sudah mau terbenam, sehingga lo gak perlu jalan kaki sambil keringetan.
  2. Matahari sudah mau terbenam; senja membuat ambiance di sekitar lo akan terasa 5x lebih cantik.
  3. Angin sore mulai sering berhembus. Ketika angin itu membelai rambut lo dengan lembut, you can’t help but feeling good about it. Rasanya hampir mirip seperti ketika kepala lo dielus-elus sama orang yang lo sayang 🙂
  4. Suasana santai, karena orang-orang sudah mulai pulang kerja, bocah-bocah sudah hampir selesai main, dan orang-orang mulai keluar untuk menikmati aktivitas fisik kayak jogging, main bulu-tangkis, main futsal, dan lain-lain. Tanpa sadar, mereka akan bikin lo juga ikutan rileks.

Jalan-jalan sore sebenernya udah jadi kebiasaan semenjak gue SMP (kalau dihitung-hitung sih, sekitar 8 tahun lalu). Karena gue suka banget jalan kaki dan sore adalah waktu favorit gue, kombinasi kedua hal ini jadinya maut banget buat gue! Jalan-jalan sore  adalah salah satu cara relaksasi diri yang paling cepet, murah, dan efektif buat gue. Selain karena melakukan aktivitas fisik yang notabene akan menyuntikkan endorphin, gue jadi merasakan kebahagiaan karena hal-hal sederhana. Tiba-tiba gue jadi banyak bersyukur. Misalnya, ketika angin sore dengan lembut membelai leher, gue biasanya akan mulai berucap, “ya tuhan terima kasih atas angin yang sejuk ini“.

Ketika gue menyaksikan dengan mata kepala sendiri perubahan langit biru menjadi langit senja yang cantik-cantik geulis gitu, gue biasanya akan mulai berucap, ” ya tuhan, terima kasih atas keindahan yang masih bisa aku saksikan“.

Ketika di playlist ena’ yang gue puter,  suara penyanyinya  terdengar jelas banget sampai berasa kayak kita lagi jalan sore bareng, gue biasanya akan mulai berucap, “ya tuhan, terima kasih untuk playlist yang mancay ini”

Pokoknya, kalo lagi jalan-jalan sore, gue jadi religious deh tiba-tiba HAHAHA

Menurut pengalaman gue sih, jalan-jalan sore ampuh banget mengatasi stress, banyak pikiran, sakit kepala, baper, galau, dan sedih. Gak cuman itu, gue juga suka jalan-jalan sore kalau lagi seneng. Kadang, saking senengnya, gue bisa jalan kaki sambil lompat-lompat and trust me, it is one of the best feelings in the world 🙂

Senjata andalan gue setiap mau jalan sore adalah sepotong celana pendek, sebuah ipod/ hp yang mampu memutar musik, sebuah/beberapa playlist yang sesuai dengan mood, sebuah headset, dan sepasang sendal jepit. Setelah perlengkapan lengkap, silahkan langsung jalan kaki dan nikmati saat-saat indah dengan diri lo sendiri. Thank me later, will you? 🙂

Now that I have told you my favorite time of the day, when is yours?