About living alone

by Lolly

I’ve always had this dream about moving out of my parents’ house and live by my own in an apartment. Now that I have my partner by my side, I’ve started adding him to the big picture. Perhaps we can start live together? I dont know, maybe it’s the right time to start paying the apartment installment together? We’re almost 2 years together, and I’m pretty sure we’re compatible enough to start living together. I want to know him enough before I get married to him. I don’t want my marriage turn to be a big surprise for me.

Beside, I want more freedom. I hate having to inform my father what time i would go home, where and with who i am going. I hate having to pretend going to church every sunday when in fact i never feel like going there, at all. I want to have a pupper as my pet, but it’s not going to happen as long as i still live with my parents.

And the most important thing, I want to feel like an adult. An adult who knows how to take care of herself. An adult who knows what she wants to do and how to make the best of it. An adult who doesnt need anyone’s permission to do what she wants. 

Earlier this year, a friend of mine (one whose wisdom i actually admire) said to me that he had a plan to move out of his parents house and rent an apartment together with his girlfriend. His relationship had just started (probably for 2 or 3 months), so his words kinda surprised me back then. I knew him as a wise man, a man who doesnt do something without thorough thinking. I personally thought that living together was to early for a young relationship, and i thought it could turn ugly someday. Moreover, i did not think he was that serious.

Until earlier this morning, i found out that he actually has just did it! I’m proud of him, but at the same time i feel bad for myself. I mean, i am the one who has that dream for so long, and my relationship has also been longer than his, shouldnt it be me who actually did that big step first?

See, sometimes you have that friend who actually achieves things you actually consider important, and he/she does it without telling everything under the sun. He/she just does it, easy and ellegantly.

And here I am, with my dreams on the back of my mind, thinking and thinking of them every minute I am alone, but does, does literally nothing to achieve them.