“do you want to get a coffee sometime?”

by Lolly

Or in my case, a green tea latte.

On a serious note, though, not everyone can master the art of conversation.

These days i have this urge to have a genuine conversation with someone. A conversation filled with empathy with anyone. One part asks, the other answers. One throws a question, the other tells stories. One conversation with less defensive walls & less boundaries. One conversation you really enjoy you barely realize it’s been 8 hours already (been there, it was life fulfilling). One conversation with lots of efforts; one conversation with sparks and curiosity for each other; one conversation with long stares in each other’s eyes. You are letting someone come into your life and so is s/he. You realize sharing stories of your ups and downs and your dirtiest thought and your deepest dreams makes you turn into this vulnerable creature, but really, you are okay with that. Cause then, the other is doing the exact same thing to you. Cause then, both of you have this connection; a connection over only hours of talking.

If someone asks me what my litmus test for a really important partner (be it a romantic partner or a good friend) is, it would be if s/he can engange in fulfilling conversation with me for at least 3 hours straight.

sounds simple as heck? well, actually no. As what i’ve said before, not everyone can master the art of conversation. Surprisingly, not everyone genuinely cares about you (which is totally their loss, by the way).

You can end up talking with someone who one sided you (been there, it was awful). Your conversation partner can go on and on and on about everything under the sun, ….except you. They are clueless people who would be well-served to pick up a copy of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. If you haven’t got a chance to read it, let me share you one tips from Mr Carnegie I’ve used these years to converse with others; make your conversation partner feels interesting. Which actually is funny because the more I think about it the more I realize that not many conversation partner of mine had made me feel I was interesting.
Kinda sad, because for me, a one-sided conversation is not a conversation. It is exhausting for one part and self-fulfilling for the other. It’s a win-lose, and it’s not good.

For me, one-sided conversation is a sign of disrespect and disinterest. It is really devastating I hope you don’t encounter (or even worse, make) one in the future.